The things we used to do...

My first car was (wait for it ) a FIAT uno 1.4 s, as it was made out paper Mache for the purpose of weight and destructability this car went like the clapers.
So one summer evening I took my girl friend (who is now my wife ) out for a drive. There is a road at the top of Sutton bank near Thirsk called long plains, it's a 2 mile straight stretch of road with lots of bumps in it so the motor crosser came out of me to get some air time. It was raining but I still went for it and I hit a large bump at approx 80 mph and got some air time. Whilst up their all was silent and I waited for the landing which came with a massive bang followed by both front door windows dropping down into the doors. I stopped and then got to the task in hand and pulled the bottom of the door card off and pushed the door glass back up on the passenger side so to keep the lady dry. By this time she was soaked I was drenched and the front seats were sodden.
I had to think how I was going to keep the glass up so I looked around and their was a tree which I snapped some branches off and used them to prop the glass up, job done.
I drove around like this for 3 month with no problems and then put this car in part ex against a new FIAT punto.
I don't know what happened the uno after that and to this day we still say do you remember when :pop:


:beer: :beer: Steve

All of these stories are great and all go back to a time when health and safety didn't exist. My tale is of a former friend and work colleague sadly no longer with us who had the run of the mill 60's rot box and had welded the chassis of his rusty steed several times . As the chassis had a tendency to break when hitting pot holes and also due to the vehicle having its brake master cylinder mounted under the floor he had to attach a small rod to the brake pedal push rod to reposition said rod back into the master cylinder when the chassis flexed ! This was done whiile the car was on the move ! ! ! Can't remember what make of car it was but I remember and miss Colin very much . Great times .

Crashed my BSA C15, 60 miles south of Edinburgh. Slid down the road on my backside, losing plastic over trousers, jeans and the back of my grunties in the process.
Kicked the forks back into semi-alignment and rode the rest of the way with my bare arse on display to every following motorist.
When I arrived, the look on the face of the 'lady' I was seeing was priceless....

Winko wrote: Crashed my BSA C15, 60 miles south of Edinburgh. Slid down the road on my backside, losing plastic over trousers, jeans and the back of my grunties in the process.
Kicked the forks back into semi-alignment and rode the rest of the way with my bare arse on display to every following motorist.
When I arrived, the look on the face of the 'lady' I was seeing was priceless....

:bust: :bust: :bust:

Love it

:clap: :clap: :clap:

Winko wrote: Kicked the forks back into semi-alignment and rode the rest of the way with my bare arse on display to every following motorist.
When I arrived, the look on the face of the 'lady' I was seeing was priceless....

i bet it might of looked like this :coat: ..........the bare ass i meant...not the ladys face.

mgtfbluestreak wrote:

Winko wrote: Kicked the forks back into semi-alignment and rode the rest of the way with my bare arse on display to every following motorist.
When I arrived, the look on the face of the 'lady' I was seeing was priceless....

i bet it might of looked like this :coat: ..........the bare ass i meant...not the ladys face.

Did she offer to put some cream on it ??

:beer: :beer: Steve

The year 1995.........The place magaluf.........decided to have a bit of a change,instead of drinking ourselves silly we would hire mopeds and get out and about........finding the perfect oasis.......armed with a few cans of beer and a pair of sunglasses we hit the open road.........after a hour or so we looked down from a rocky hill across a beach.......we saw what looked like a caribean cocktail bar at the far end.........swigging our warm cans we coasted down the gravely hillside track untill we were on sand.........we left the peds and walked in anticipation of a ice cold lager............look at that dirty old git i chanted to my mates......he his ruddy stark naked.........we walked on and in dismay the tropical hut was some type of shed....oh my mate said those women are starkers aswell...........we left the beach feeling overdressed......realising we had just invaded a nudist beach......cracking open a can of beer we rode up the hill track one handed while swigging spains finest with the other hand..........i persume my moped was tuned abit more than the other two........one slight twist on that mopeds throttle popped a wheelie..........i jumped out of the way has the moped did a flip and clatterd down the steep track to the bottom.... :bang:
on retrieving the bike we collected the light lense pieces and bits of trim......
we went back to magaluf and managed to find a shop which sold superglue.....sitting at a bar.....we wiped the leaking oil from the forks and glued together the plastic jigsaw which was once a tidy little ped we put it together and spruced her up for the inspection when we took her back............on dropping off the bikes we went out of the shop and stood by a car the owner was going to take us back to the hotel and give us our passports back...they have them off you for security........i heard a loud voice shout the owner back has he aproached with our passports........stop....who was on number 23?.....the eyes were on me....has we went to a cashpoint and drew a load of money out to get the passport back.......we went back to a bar chanting that song by jasper carrot......(funky moped)........we met a guy who drew charactertures........he saw my cuts and bruises and heard my tale of the moped and began to sketch me........i found the drawing 2 days ago in my shed......here is my picture which has been tucked away since 1995......the drawing is large so a few pics here... :vulture:

Where did you get my wife's photo?

Winko wrote: Where did you get my wife's photo?

:omg: :spank: :spank:

:beer: :beer: Steve

Lost the key to my 1954 Austin A30,. No problem - palm of both hands flat on the window, slight up and down movement and window drops down, reach in and open door with inside handle.
Open bonnet by pulling 'Flying A' bonnet ornament forward (no lock!) and remove one of the two fuses (yes, really, two!) and put it back in the exact same size gap between the two holders.

Pull start knob,drive away...

Fitted one of the very first electric screen washers to the same car - SU petrol pump from a breakers, flimsy plastic switch from Halfords, plastic tubing from aquarium shop, washing-up liquid bottle reservoir from Mum's cupboard and tape from the bits box to hold tube to wiper arm...

Took the major manufacturers years to catch up on that one.

Had a escort mk2.......rs lookalike........looked solid until i did some offroad rally driving with it........it was loads of fun until bang the rear end went down on one side......the later models had single leaf springs on the rear...........had them snap before..........stuck my head under and ho......the spring was intact........on opening the boot lid i saw the spring hanger in the boot........the arch had collapsed with rot..........i decided to scrap the car,but to get more money off the scrappers i had to drive it in........i jacked the body up and borrowed a wooden post from my dads garage and wedged it over the springhanger trapping it in the arch.......the rear end was perfectly level again............i drove the car to the scrappers.........after i was paid.....i asked the guy..........can i have my wooden post back holding up the rear suspention has i had borrowed it from my dad........the look on his face was priceless has i walked past the office window carrying it. :slapme:

A mate had a very well sorted 105E Anglia - Webers, balanced, lowered, wide wheels, the works. Body rot caught up with him, so he sold it on - to me, with most of the go-faster goodies taken off (OK, I did know the problems and I only paid 35 quid for it!).

Balanced and with a steel main bearing cap but on the standard weedy carb the change-up point was where it simply would not rev any higher - unburstable and great fun. Lowered and stiffened but back on standard skinny crossplies the handling was... great fun. Flat, level, grippy - up until, whoops... rotation! And all at speeds that were controllable

Lots of fibreglass and Woolworths' enamel kept it going but when I came to sell it on I put it in for the MoT... The welding on the McPherson strut mounting was succesful - but he guy was really apologetic 'Sorry mate but the wing caught fire...' No problem, more fibreglass.

I sold it for 50 quid, the first bloke turned up with a magnet, obviously it wasn't the kind of car he was looking for.