Terms of abuse

Let's get this measured - you hold the dumb end of the tape...
Go to the stores and get me some Stewart tartan paint and a long weight...
Pass me my metric shifting spanner...
You really are as thick as sh*t in the neck of a bottle...

“Everyone has a right to be stupid; some people just abuse the privilege.”

“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Sherlock Homes is not an old peoples home then? what sort is it then

I love the one used to describe George Osborne on Twitter.

"You couldn't organise a bumming contest in an arsehole factory"

i asked our new kid at work to go to the local electrical distributer to pick up some 4ft Fallopian tubes as we had several out in the shop lol. apparentley the guys down at QLC were rolling around,

this was the same guy that i had counting every link in the chain at stocktake lol

"If you had dynamite for brains you wouldnt have enough to blow your nose"
"I seriously misunderstood the word Stupid but now your standing in front of me i now fully understand the meaning"

I once sent a Saturday lad into marlins for a flux capacitor!!

He got them to ring me and ask what it was for!! :slapme:

In anticipation of the inevitable stupid stores request, my brother made me a double headed bolt by neatly welding two bolts together. I got slapped daft for being a smart ass when i proudly produced it. Happy days.

Popular power industry apprentice wind-ups:

A bucket of steam.
Left handed hammer.
Glass tipped cold chisel.
Sky-hooks.
Tin of elbow grease.