Objects of desire

Having got my objects of desires I'd promptly get bored of them and would have to find some more :nonod:

I don't want to rain on this parade, but here is a cautionary tale about objects of desire...

I learned to play guitar when I was about 18 or 19. I played for years, then, like a lot of people, put the guitar away. About twenty years later, I took up guitar playing again. By this time, I had a disposable income. I stumbled across Martin guitars (you can look them up) and over the next ten years or so acquired (collected) about 14 or 15 of them. Each acquisition was "important" and "necessary" and...expensive. I was driven by the need to collect them. Each was an object of intense desire. And then...depression set in. The guitars were laid aside and I found that I began to resent them because they represented much of my depression. It wasn't the guitars themselves, so much as the situation that allowed me to collect them. But in reality, my objects of desire became objects of accusation and fear and self doubt and all the other crap that goes with depression and stress and anxiety. I was similarly addicted to eBay purchases. Chasing the goal and getting it was more important than the object itself. I went cold turkey and stopped buying guitars and chasing eBay stuff unless it was something that I genuinely wanted. This was helped along by taking a redundancy at work and having no real income for the last couple of years. Then along came ECK. Lots needed done and it was a serious test of my resolve not to get right into the same cycle of spending as with the guitars. Luckily, I have been able to stand on it quite quickly. What I have spent on the car hasn't made me feel guilty or stressed, yet - but if I am honest, it is only just. Much of what was done fell into the "necessary" category rather than an object of desire. The few things that were "luxuries" are just part of the fun of owning a mid engined sports car. ECK is as I need it to be right now. I await one more minor mod (front splitter) and any future mods will be either very small and cheap, or simply fun and affordable (take your pick of expression).

I apologise for injecting this kind of seriousness into the thread, and I hope it doesn't spoil folk's fun. If, on the other hand, any of it sounds familiar, please take the time to think about it, and protect yourself - depression and anxiety is no fun.

Do I still have objects of desire? I suppose I do, but they now involve friendships, a good cup of tea or coffee, a nice meal with family and friends, or a cold beer on a hot day. I find myself pretty content, but it isn't something I can take for granted. I begin a nursing degree at university in September (I'll be 54) and that has given me purpose and a goal, but happiness and stability will be priority number 1. If I can't be stable and content, I'll be a crap nurse.

Thanks for listening. Be kind to yourselves - that is the best object of desire I can wish for you.

My object of desire ?? I have nearly everything I really want but another MGF would be nice, a grandchild or maybe a good set of 3/8 sockets (birthday soon hints dropped)

Lots of different perspectives in this thread each has made me think.
Dave B :broon:

Dave Baird, i know exactly what you mean as I have suffered the same except im still trying to learn - owning Phoenix certainly hasnt done me any favours

Im now suffering the consequences of these compulsions but hoping by the time im 40 ill be in a better place and can start to enjoy spending money on whats important rather than trying to fill voids of unhappiness

Dave Baird wrote: I don't want to rain on this parade, but here is a cautionary tale about objects of desire...

I learned to play guitar when I was about 18 or 19. I played for years, then, like a lot of people, put the guitar away. About twenty years later, I took up guitar playing again. By this time, I had a disposable income. I stumbled across Martin guitars (you can look them up) and over the next ten years or so acquired (collected) about 14 or 15 of them. Each acquisition was "important" and "necessary" and...expensive. I was driven by the need to collect them. Each was an object of intense desire. And then...depression set in. The guitars were laid aside and I found that I began to resent them because they represented much of my depression. It wasn't the guitars themselves, so much as the situation that allowed me to collect them. But in reality, my objects of desire became objects of accusation and fear and self doubt and all the other crap that goes with depression and stress and anxiety. I was similarly addicted to eBay purchases. Chasing the goal and getting it was more important than the object itself. I went cold turkey and stopped buying guitars and chasing eBay stuff unless it was something that I genuinely wanted. This was helped along by taking a redundancy at work and having no real income for the last couple of years. Then along came ECK. Lots needed done and it was a serious test of my resolve not to get right into the same cycle of spending as with the guitars. Luckily, I have been able to stand on it quite quickly. What I have spent on the car hasn't made me feel guilty or stressed, yet - but if I am honest, it is only just. Much of what was done fell into the "necessary" category rather than an object of desire. The few things that were "luxuries" are just part of the fun of owning a mid engined sports car. ECK is as I need it to be right now. I await one more minor mod (front splitter) and any future mods will be either very small and cheap, or simply fun and affordable (take your pick of expression).

I apologise for injecting this kind of seriousness into the thread, and I hope it doesn't spoil folk's fun. If, on the other hand, any of it sounds familiar, please take the time to think about it, and protect yourself - depression and anxiety is no fun.

Do I still have objects of desire? I suppose I do, but they now involve friendships, a good cup of tea or coffee, a nice meal with family and friends, or a cold beer on a hot day. I find myself pretty content, but it isn't something I can take for granted. I begin a nursing degree at university in September (I'll be 54) and that has given me purpose and a goal, but happiness and stability will be priority number 1. If I can't be stable and content, I'll be a crap nurse.

Thanks for listening. Be kind to yourselves - that is the best object of desire I can wish for you.

14 or 15 Martins :omg:
I had a D45 years ago: had to flog it when the first bairn arrived.

cjj wrote:

Rich in Vancouver wrote: lathe and beer fridge. :beer: That would suit me fine.

Hmmm. Tell me more about this lathe and beer fridge. I think I might want one. :yesnod:

I must have missed a comma but that does sound like a good idea. :broon:

As for all the altruistic blokes on here; I have had enough tough times over the years where I have had to flog all my toys that I don't feel guilty in the least fantasizing about what I would do if I won the lottery. Cheers all!

Speaking of lottery wins; If my numbers had come in on Saturday this would be mine now.
You never see a find like this and it's only 30 miles from me! Barn Find MGTC

Having recently taken early retirement, I'm getting used to having a bit of spare time to myself, though to be honest my feet haven't touched the ground yet. I have had time to do some bits on the F to get it running nicely enough for my purposes though it is by no means an object of desire!

TBH I don't really have a list as such my only things I wish for are family related. Prime among those is that our granddaughter has been diagnosed as profoundly deaf. She's having an MRI and CT scan tomorrow which she has to be anaesthetised for so the first thing would be a safe outcome to that followed by the news that she would be able to be assisted by a cochlear implant. That should be established following tomorrow's procedures.

Small thing but very personal to us all as a family I guess.

Robin

we rent a unit on a farm we use it for storage and in the winter we use it to fit interiors.
the owner is worth around 20 million at least.he has built most of the houses in dorset and a few hospitals.he has converted all his farm building into units he charges us a small fortune a unit the size of a stamp.
is he happy no.the most miserable chap on the planet,he never smiles,always moans.he has a two year old bentley that has never been cleaned,not a straight panel on it.
some times you say good morning his reply is whats good about it.The other day we handed him the rent cheque,his reply was have you any idea how much it costs to bank this check! yet the chap who looks after the horses is on very low money,works in all weathers drives a 20 year old escort that is always clean.
he is always happy,will stop to chat regardless of the weather.money is just paper can come and go in a flash.put both of them in a pub i know which one i would like to spend time with.
the rich one and keep asking him for some money so i can be as unhappy as him

Good words their Daz. I like down to earth folk too!

I'd like a new people carrier and a conservatory at this moment in time.