Wrong advice: the next level...

A while back I started a daft thread that gave stoopid advice: " to avoid brake squeal, apply engine oil to the brake pads and discs" etc. sort of Top Tips from Viz.

As we have new members now I thought we maybe ought to have another round.....

So...
After opening the boot lid, always remove and then place your only full set of keys on the boot floor carpet. Then cover them with something that hides them before absent-mindedly shutting the boot. This ensures that not only are you locked out of your car... You can't get into your home either.

You will then discover how friendly your neighbours are. Borrow their angle grinder and cut a 300mm square through the boot lid. Reach in and ......Voila! You are reunited with your keys! And you now have enhanced engine cooling. Win win.

You do realise you will receive a thank you for this drivel??? You could be responsible for an entire boot LID replacement...

been there done that:

Rear lights are £10 on eBay - simply smash it and pull the cable!

Have another key cut and leave it in the car [ thats what i have done since looking my keys in the boot back in 1998 ] it will not start the car but will open the boot

In the true spirit of John's post I would suggest getting a boot safe and keeping a spare key in that.

Save on brake pads by slowing your car by simply hitting the vehicle in front. :hgf:

Save your battery by driving in fog with no lights on. Very popular this one. :yesnod:

Save bulbs by not indicating at corners where you always turn the same way.

mgfmania wrote: Rear lights are £10 on eBay - simply smash it and pull the cable!

I have two spare lights too.

Run either no oil.. Or no coolant.. Or both.. So that when the head gasket goes it stops them mixing and making mayo

Add handfuls of course sand to the air inlet whilst the engine is running.. This will effectively sand the inlet manifold and make more power..

A racing carrot is another good power upgrade.. Stick out the front with a carrot hanging from it.. The horses in your engine chase the carrot.. Thus making it accelerate faster..

Save fuel in your MGF by fitting separate schrader valves to the rear hydragas spheres, you can then drain the fronts and pump up the rears to the max, the result will be that your always driving downhill!
:nonod:

Ask Adam to fix your car - hes generally available

You fixed our car yesterday :yesnod:

Buy loads of parts, store em in the garage, you never know they will come in handy at some stage.

Then when you really need them they will be there. Hoarders keep hoarding, non-hoarders, start buying stuff now, you'll never need a skip.