Winter driving tips

At this time of year more accidents happen because people are not prepared for the weather, :hgf: which against all logic gets colder, sometimes water on the road freezes and causes ice. Whatever that is. :shrug: Even worse sometimes the normal rain turns to an odd white fluffy stuff that although looking like cotton wool is surprisingly cold and sort of skiddy... :woowoo:

So here are 7 excellent tips from Sniff Petrol.

1. Save money on expensive de-icer by clearing your car windscreen using the natural warmth and plentiful supply of your own urine!

2. Winter tyres are a boon but can cost hundreds. It’s much cheaper to make your own ‘studded’ tyres by simply banging a few nails into your existing tyres!

3. Why waste cash specifying fancy heated seats in your car when you can achieve the same warming effect by simply shitting your pants!

4. Running the engine while you wait for the screen to de-ice wastes pounds. Avoid this problem by simply memorizing your exact route to work and setting off immediately, perhaps occasionally sounding the horn so other drivers know that you can’t see them!

5. Another great way to avoid paying extortionate prices for de-icer is simply to remove all the windows from your car at night and take them indoors with you. Simply re-fit them in the morning for inexpensive clear vision!

6. Prevent costly wear and tear on your car’s heater AND take advantage of wasted heat by simply running a pipe from the exhaust into the cabin!

7. Save money on expensive and complicated heated door mirrors by simply cable tying a cat to each mirror overnight!

I knew I was going wrong somewhere.