Top Tips

When driving and four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time give way to the pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

:omg:

I love Viz!

Thought I was the only one still buying it!

Regards,
Andy

I buy it now n again.

Prefer Rogers profanisaurus!!

Once, after reading viz a while back I started texting people texts in a north east accent!

A few people carried conversations on for quite a while

MOTORISTS...
Don't waste time changing lanes on motorways, simply manouveur your vehicle into the centre lane and stay there for the length of your journey. If you want to save more time, wait till the very last minute before steering rapidly towards your chosen exit.

Don't waste electricity by indicating, other motorists will guess where you're going anyway



My favourite Viz toptip was Don't waste money on expensive contact lenses, just cut two small circles from cling film instead!

I like:

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your face into a bowl of iron filings.

:bust:

Keep your car clean and tidy inside by simply throwing your rubbish out of the window!

Don't waste money on expensive exhausts ...simply yell VROOM as loudly as you can whenever you go under bridges or through tunnels

If you have a lot of waste material, don't spend the time and effort to put it in a council refuse sack and place it by your front gate, instead put it in a council refuse sack, put the sack in your car, drive to an area of outstanding beauty and leave the bright blue plastic sack in a prominent place where everyone can look at it in beautiful surroundings.

Areas of natural beauty often benefit from having a focal point. :lol:

Fool your neighbours into thinking that you have an upmarket automatic gearbox car by momentarily engaging reverse to make the reversing lights flash, then select first and drive off.